1Wk
It’s interesting how people take it for granted that a marriage should be 50-50 financially and that couples should have separate accounts. Does this principle also apply to pregnancy, childbirth, parental leave, and career setbacks? As long as these burdens can’t be split in half, I don’t think strict financial separation is fair. Besides, constantly preparing for a possible separation would make me feel like divorce is always on the back of my mind—I couldn’t truly feel safe and secure in a marriage like that.
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@Suky I think we need to take a more nuanced approach here and consider how things actually work for each individual. In our case, the only accounts we keep separate are investment accounts and checking accounts. We contribute the same amount to the investment accounts every month, and will continue to do so even after parental benefits stop being paid. Similarly, I’m the only one contributing to our joint vacation fund during the time when we have no other income. Ultimately, both partners should be happy in a marriage—that’s the most important thing :)
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•1Wk
@alphawolf May I ask if you both earn roughly the same amount? If not, do you still split all expenses exactly 50/50? And were the same amounts deposited into her investment account as into yours during her parental leave? I just want to make sure I've understood your arrangement correctly.
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@Suky I earned less before my parental leave, but I was fine with a 50-50 split because it meant we could save more for parental leave. Both of our savings plans continue with the same amount during and before parental leave. To make that possible, I took on a part-time job.
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1Wk
@alphawolf That sounds like a really fair arrangement for you two. But I think that, unfortunately, things don’t work out that way for many couples, and people often don’t take into account that women miss out on professional opportunities and put their careers on hold due to pregnancy and parental leave. Honestly: I’d gladly give my husband more money if it meant he could take over that damn back pain after pregnancy for just one month. 😅
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@Suky It’s really important to me that everything is properly taken care of. A lot of people forget that no contributions are made to a woman’s pension fund during pregnancy and parental leave. All I can tell you is that the back pain sticks around—not from the pregnancy anymore, but from carrying the baby 😬
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1Wk
@alphawolf I guess you're right 😅 Thanks for the nice chat. Wishing you and your family all the best! 😊
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•@Suky I'd love to 😊—I hope the same for you, too 🥳
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@Suky That's why you should get married before having a child together. Marriage protects the lower-earning spouse in the event of a divorce.
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…since the total earnings are halved and divided
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@Suky Sorry,
What's written here is very one-sided, clichéd, outdated, and doesn't reflect what actually happened in all the comments on this topic...
What's written here is very one-sided, clichéd, outdated, and doesn't reflect what actually happened in all the comments on this topic...
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