1Settimana·

Off topic

Good morning everyone,

I had something like a company outing last night, actually it was just a big meal with no other program.

I noticed something about myself and am now thinking (worrying?) a lot about it.

😰

When the invitation to the company outing came, it was immediately clear to me that I wouldn't be going this time, as I don't enjoy such outings and see them as a waste of time.

But then I thought about my client, who I like, and how frustrating it must be for her if she organizes a company outing and no one comes or everyone cancels, so I said yes and took part.

I was able to have a good chat with my table neighbors on site, but I was still bored and I was very happy when it was over.

Up to this point, I was still of the opinion that most people attend such events out of politeness and a sense of duty.

But I was proved wrong, on the return flight everyone was so happy and euphoric that they even sang out loud. I can't put it all into words. In any case, the majority of the group must have really enjoyed this event.

That gave me a lot to think about and now I'm wondering whether I might have a social weakness or something and therefore don't enjoy such events?

Why am I writing this in a financial forum? To put it in @Ji_hyun 's words, the brightest minds I know are gathered here and I would like to know your opinion.

Have a nice weekend

15.02

Hermes Intl

Ricevuti Dividendi al 3,50 €

29 Commenti

Epi@Epi

1Settimana

Typically introverted. It's not a weakness, just a personality trait. Find another introvert and have a good time. 😊

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Stefan@PatienceBeatsGreed

1Settimana

@Epi exactly that 👍🏻
@Iwanowitsch Don't feel obliged to take part in everything if you know from the outset that you won't enjoy it.
Organizers also feel bad if someone brings a bad mood or isn't having fun. So you're basically doing them a favor by not coming 😁

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K@TechNav

1Settimana

@Epi I couldn't say it better myself. It's not a bad thing. Many people are like that! We all love them anyway, even though they always cancel... :P

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Sina@lawinvest

1Settimana

It may be that you are introverted. But it may also be that you - like me - simply think that such things are a waste of time for other reasons.
For example, I find any communication that doesn't help me annoying. For example: someone doesn't get to the point, babbles on pointlessly, just talks small... etc. and since such an occasion usually consists of pure small talk, I find it annoying and superfluous

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Dividendenopi👴@Dividendenopi

1Settimana

@lawinvest As a lawyer, you must really have a thick skin. But as the saying goes: fault in selection

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Epi@Epi

1Settimana

@lawinvest You are in control of the level of communication, aren't you? If someone doesn't get to the point, you can tell them. If they're babbling on pointlessly, you can interrupt them and ask meaningful questions, etc. If you want to, you can have an interesting conversation with almost anyone. 🤷

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Sina@lawinvest

1Settimana

@Epi Yes, it certainly improves the atmosphere of the conversation when I charmingly interject and ask a waffler - of which there are plenty in my job - to get to the point.
But the question is rather: What do I gain from having an interesting conversation with people I'm not interested in? Is it because my job forces me to deal with them or because our interests are categorically different?

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Epi@Epi

1Settimana

@lawinvest Well, what's more important to you: a good conversation or a good conversational atmosphere? 🤷 There are some babblers who babble out of embarrassment, but they can do otherwise.
And sometimes it's only in conversation that you can tell whether someone is interesting. Other interests? You can broaden your horizons. Professional contact? Maybe you can get to know them privately.
Of course, many people still remain uninteresting. But sometimes they reveal something about themselves in conversation that remains hidden in everyday life? That can be interesting after all 😉

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NEWT@SteelAnacott

1Settimana

I don't think it's a social weakness. Maybe you're more of an introvert, but you also know what interests you and how you like to spend or not spend your time. I feel the same way. I used to think about it because I wondered whether and why others like doing things like that. I've since come to terms with that. Small talk events like that are a horror for me.
I wouldn't describe myself as completely introverted, I like discussing topics that interest me with people, but instead of superficial networking events, I prefer to spend my time with friends or alone doing things that interest me.

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Metis@Metis

1Settimana

What @Epi says.
For introverts, it's energy-sapping and a waste of time. It's better to spend time with people you really like. And that usually doesn't include your colleagues.

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Marcel@Mcl1991

1Settimana

Dear Kate 😊
I feel it... And I agree with @Epi. But would like to add a few words...

As is so often the case in life, people have different tastes. What one person likes and enjoys doesn't necessarily appeal to you. And a lot also depends on the mood of the day... Or or or ... There are many factors that influence how you feel.

But you don't have to like it. As you wrote, you think such events are more of a "waste of time". If you feel that way, it's clear that you don't really feel comfortable. That's perfectly OK if that's how you feel 😊 You don't have to like it... No one can force you.

But it's also clear that you're very empathetic and are concerned about the organizers and still found the conversations quite nice 😌

And you can be really proud of this empathy. Not many people think like that, which is a real shame.
And I think it's really nice that you think like that 😊

I, for example, also realized that I felt the same way at such events.
And I can't do much with small talk. I do it out of politeness. But it's not easy for me and really satisfying for me are more in-depth conversations.

If you don't want to stay away from such events, one option would be to let your favorite colleague know in advance how you feel at such events and ask if you could spend time together.
This honesty has helped me at such events.
Maybe that would be a strategy for you too? 😌

And last but not least, a compliment:
I think it's very good that you're dealing with your thoughts and feelings like this and asking for advice. But I wouldn't worry so much. I'd rather think about why I don't like something and, if I do it out of a sense of duty, think about how I can deal with the situation better.
You don't have to celebrate afterwards like other colleagues. If the others are celebrating and it was rather stressful for you, then so be it...

Have a nice weekend too ☀️

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CashPilot@CashPilot

1Settimana

I know it all too well, I'm also a bit introverted. But as a manager, such events are a must for me, it's expected of you. But as I feel very comfortable in the company I work for and enjoy my job, I'm happy to put up with it and think it's good for the company. And in the end it's always a lot of fun.

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“Klaatu_Barada_Nikto!“@Ash

1Settimana

I feel the same way. Inwardly, I always roll my eyes when there are invitations to company events because I know that it would be a waste of my personal life. So don't worry - in the end, it's like @Epi describes. Don't doubt yourself just because the social part of your work bubble isn't your feel-good bubble. There are certainly enough other opportunities and company where you enjoy spending your time.

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Vace@Vace

1Settimana

Contrary to all the other comments, I wouldn't necessarily say it's because you're introverted (although of course it can be and it's obvious). maybe you wouldn't say you're introverted at all.

It could very well be that you simply want to maintain a professional distance from your work colleagues and don't want to share anything private, or that you feel uncomfortable in situations that are designed to open up personally. At least that's what I can say from my own experience.

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Solitair@Solitair

I know that. If there's one thing I miss about the corona era, it's that I didn't have to come up with excuses to skip such events

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Korrekturensohn@Korrekturensohn

1Settimana

I don't like the fuss either and just want to deliver content without having to worry about the rest.

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TP@TP

1Settimana

Same here and if not already known clear podcast recommendation *Drinnies*! Have a nice weekend too 😊

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GargaGamble@gargi

1Settimana

Have you taken the 16 personalities test?

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Sina@lawinvest

1Settimana

@gargi interesting test! But although I am extroverted following this test, I hate such events. ESTJ-A

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Kate💎 🙌.@Iwanowitsch

1Settimana

@gargi no 🤭

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Dividendenopi👴@Dividendenopi

1Settimana

I can understand that, I felt the same way in my company. I actually avoided "extreme" activities such as a cabbage drive or a visit to the Freimarkt - something like the little Oktoberfest in the north - because I find that kind of thing creepy. I then took part in company lunches to compensate and saw them as a social study. I observed how colleagues who were otherwise rather stiff were at their best under the influence of alcohol. It was also fascinating to see how small things in life can turn into almost insurmountable situations for some. And frightening how others run, or rather stumble, through life with a lack of reality. Sometimes I arrogantly thought to myself: How could you even survive so far? But all in all, there were nice conversations outside my bubble and it was usually a nice evening after all. Before you think about canceling next time, what would you do as an alternative? Would this have any "added value" for you and would you be able to enjoy it without your subconscious kicking in even once and trying to build up a bit of a guilty conscience? If that's the case, then stay away. Then you don't need these people in your life. If not, then you have to "sacrifice" yourself.

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Murcielago@impuff

1Settimana

I guess the most introverted person in the group is often very wealthy. There are advantages and disadvantages

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Uwe@SchlaubiSchlumpf

For me, it depends on the people. If they are people I like, I can also like them at the company outing. However, there are many things that are more important to me than spending time with work colleagues. In particular, I can't stand those business lunches where I hardly know the people, don't like them if I do, take up my private time, are far too expensive and go on until late in the evening. If they were productive, it would still be okay... 🫠

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Walter S.@Roots

No weakness. Everything just right.

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philosophizer@philosophizer

I'll just assume that you like to think about yourself and also like to read about it and recommend "Still" by Susan Cain ☺️

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Timo@Aktienorang-Utan

Personally, I always feel the same way. It starts beforehand, when you see a note about a joint company party or activity. "Oh, not again..."
That's why I've decided to avoid these things completely. It's for the best, at least for me ☺️

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Charmin@Charmin

I don't think you have a social weakness. If only because you are reflective enough to ask yourself this question.

There's nothing wrong with simply not liking such events. There are a lot of people who don't like them and just go for a social visit. Not everyone is a social animal.

I personally feel comfortable in both large and small groups, but that doesn't mean that there aren't events where I don't get bored. However, I have a personality structure that tries to make the best of the situation. Most of the time, anyway. Sometimes that doesn't work - then I just leave. That's no bad thing either,

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gui H.@useref748d772fc84f3e

I feel the same way. The rituals of social cohesion and the urge to socialize are a horror to me.

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Nostradonkey💩@DonkeyInvestor

Welcome to my world. I've been doing an extroverted job as an introvert for over 10 years

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