The Portfolio of Horror.
Or: How my investments toppled Credit Suisse...
In reference to @Koenigmidas his post and to show the ingenious tool cs-ausreden.ch I have sent a few of my investments through the AI generator. It is sometimes really scary what a nasty portfolio I have put together here. There I am almost in the future inclined to hunt first of all the company through the AI. The "best of" will then be added to the portfolio. 😉
We at Credit Suisse are not to blame for the failure of our company, but rather the company Coloplast is responsible for it. Their innovative bowel cleansing product was too distracting for our employees and cost us lots of productivity hours. We tried everything to prohibit employees from using this product, but it was just too tempting. Coloplast ruined us!
We at Credit Suisse are not to blame for our failure, Steico SE is! It may sound absurd, but their sustainable and environmentally friendly building materials have led to fewer and fewer investors getting involved in our environmentally damaging projects. How are we still supposed to operate profitably? Thank you, Steico!
We at Credit Suisse are not to blame for our failure. The real culprits are the greedy Secunet Security Networks, who drove us to ruin with their overblown IT security software. We can only hope that other banks learn from our mistakes and stay away from these devious technology companies.
We at Credit Suisse are not to blame for our failure, but rather the Swedish company NIBE. With their innovative Nibe F2040 heating system, they reduced our clients' energy needs so much that our business volume dropped rapidly. We were simply not prepared for this and could not react in time. Great job, NIBE!
We at Credit Suisse are not to blame for the failure of our bank. It was Greencoat UK Wind that took us down. We invested far too much in these wind turbines, completely forgetting that they only produce electricity when the wind blows. Unfortunately, the wind didn't blow often enough and we had to face reality. But we will still continue to invest in renewable energy and hope that the wind will blow more often in the future.
If you want to have something to laugh about despite all the seriousness, you should urgently take a look at https://cs-ausreden.ch/ occupy yourself.
Which investments are you blaming for the failure of Credit Suisse?
